Thank you for taking the time to understand Domestic Violence. It is so important that we spread awareness. Not only does it help others understand, but it also helps those going through it not feel alone. Domestic Violence costs more than $8.3 BILLION per year. Daily, more than 20,000 phone calls are placed to Domestic Violence hotlines in the U.S.
Every day, at least 3 women are KILLED by their partners. Statistics show that in 15 states, more than 40% of all homicides of women are from Domestic Violence. Women with disabilities have a 40% greater risk of being a victim than women without. Approximately 5 million children are exposed every year. Children exposed are more likely to have developmental delays, attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, run away, and commit sexual assault crimes and more. 50% of abusers also neglect and abuse their children. Long term effects can result in Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). Only 1/3 injured will receive medical care for their injuries. 19% of violence involves a weapon. Most cases are never reported.
Domestic Violence isn't just physical abuse. It's emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and any other behavior that involves having power and control of the other person in the relationship. Domestic Violence affects millions of people, women, men, and children of all races and ages. The abusers use many different tactics of manipulation, violence, and threats to prevent the victims from escaping, or wanting to escape. On average victims attempt to leave six to eight times before finally being able to. If they are able to.
Domestic Violence is the leading cause to injury in women sending more than 1 million to hospitals every year and accounting for 15% of all violent crime. Nearly 20 people every minute are physically abused by an intimate partner. 1/3 women will experience Domestic Violence in their lifetime. 37% of pregnant women are battered during pregnancy, including blows to the abdomen. There are more animal shelters than there are shelters for victims of Domestic Violence in the US. One in fifteen children are exposed to Domestic Violence each year. 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence. Domestic Violence is the 3rd leading cause of homelessness for families. These statistics are based off of only what is reported. Meaning these percentages are even higher considering many victims do not report anything.
Understanding The CYCLE of Abuse
1. The initial abusive incident occurs. Physical, sexual, or emotional.
2. TENSION BUILDS, with the abuser trying to suppress their violent tendency and the victim trying to Keep The Peace, until, another incident occurs.
3. MAKE-UP where the abuser apologies, promises it won't ever happen again, or trying to manipulate the victim and place the blame on them because the victim 'Asked for it' or 'Deserved it'.
4. CALM where both the abuser and the victim pretend like nothing is wrong, and ignore the growing problem.
5. Like the Cycle it is, it REPEATS. Until the victim is finally able to leave, or is killed.
This cycle can and will repeat endlessly. Over time there is less and less make-up time and calm time, and the abuse stages get longer. Over time many victims develop symptoms of PTSD.
PTSD is a LONG-TERM psychological disorder that victims will struggle with. It is challenging to recover and learn how to cope and move on with your life. According to a report by Margaret J. Hughes and Loring Jones "Women, Domestic Violence, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder", "The severity of the violence, the duration of exposure, early-age onset, and the victim's cognitive assessment of the violence (perceived degree of threat, predictability, and controllability) exacerbate the symptoms".
Domestic Violence usually repeats itself over a long period of time. The physical effects of trauma on victims can range from lacerations, bruises, broken bones, head injuries and concussions, internal bleeding, chronic pelvic pain, abdominal and gastrointestinal complaints, miscarriages, low birth weight in children and developmental delays. These can become LONG-TERM CHRONIC physical problems like arthritis, hypertension, and heart issues. Existing medical conditions can be affected by sustained physical abuse. Usually, it's the emotional factor of Domestic Violence that leads to a chronic state of Complex PTSD.
Abuse from someone you should be able to trust can lead many feeling abandoned, betrayed, and even crazy. Yes, crazy. Depression is the most common symptom and is one of the chronic effects of PTSD caused by abuse. That feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that many victims experience has a profound effect on their emotional and mental well being. Many abusers will refuse the victims medical and psychological care. Making it even more challenging for victims to escape.
Even those, like myself, whom have managed to get away suffer the aftershocks of the abuse. Once we get away, we still aren't done with our battle due to the PTSD. Struggling with flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, emotional numbing, insomnia, hyper-vigilance, and avoidance of triggers that may remind them of the abuse or bring back emotional or mental stress.
Read more about Domestic Violence here.
Brace yourself, for the photos I am about to show you, are real life Domestic Violence photos with the abuser Shane and the victim Maggie and their 2 children. You can read more about this story and the photographer who captured these photos here.
Thank you all, for taking the time to read this. Please, go back to my home page and scroll down Subscribe with your email and stay up to date. You can also find the FamousLostWords Instagram and Pinterest by clicking the icons on the home page.
My goal is to post about Domestic Violence Effects and then, I will start sharing my story. How I survived for 3 years. My current fight in court against my ex with an upcoming Protection From Abuse (PFA) Hearing and Custody in April. The effects I am just now starting to see with my son with his own developmental delays, my struggles with my disabling PTSD and how I am trying to move on with my life as a mother, and as a partner in a new relationship. I wish I would have left sooner. Not only for myself, but now seeing and gaining the knowledge on how the Domestic Abuse I went through starting during my pregnancy, until my son was 2, is affecting him.
I very much feel at fault for my sons' own struggles. If I would have left after the first slap, maybe he wouldn't be struggling with these developmental delays and more. As a mother I should have protected him more. And I don't feel as if I did enough. For the past year I have tried my hardest to make up for that time. And I will not stop fighting to protect my little boy.
-FamousLostWords
Dominique
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